im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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