She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
