is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
