I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
