And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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