How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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