I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
