The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
