The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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