who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
