Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
