how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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