Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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