I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
