i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
