My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
