So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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