Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
please don't ironically join a cult
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