I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
