Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
