The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
