i wish there were pregnant emoticons
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
