This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
