nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just cut my nipple shaving
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
