You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
