how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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