she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
