Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
