somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
vagina is talking i cant
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
