Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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