are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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