He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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