I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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