Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
