you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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