I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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