Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
