Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
