Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
