Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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