she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
