Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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