I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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