Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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