I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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