A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
