I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How naked do you want me to be?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
