Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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