i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
