Midget sex pt 2 tonight
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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